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  • Beatrice Iker

Iker Tarot #1: Internal Conflict

Updated: Mar 12, 2022

Like everything else in life, tarot is about existing somewhere on a spectrum - many spectrums, endless spectrums. - Beatrice Winifred Iker

Deck used: Mystic Mondays by Grace Duong

Cards pulled: Nine of Wands (Reversed), Five of Wands (Upright), Page of Cups (Reversed)

Elements: Fire, Fire, Water

Reminder: I pulled these cards for myself, but I do hope you're able to gain something from this as well!

As you see by the title, the general vibe I got from this session was internal conflict. I pulled two cards from the suit of wands, which is the suit I see as passion, willpower, and energy.

I pulled one card from the suit of cups, the suit all about intuition, healing, and emotions.

With that fiery energy, though, comes healthy progression and uncontrolled volatility.

With that watery energy comes gentle dreams and tidal waves of illogical fantasies.

From the Nine of Wands (Reversed) I get the feeling of avoidance and exhaustion.

I have my fingers in many pots as of late. I'm pursuing my history degree, I have many creative projects, and my family's love language as a collective is "lots of quality time". Which, by the way, I love. I am grateful to have so many loved ones who want to talk to me often, and I want to talk to them too! I will admit, though, that I'm struggling with work-life-creativity balance.

From the Five of Wands (Upright) I get the feeling of conflict, and I love this!

For such a long time, I avoided conflict. I felt like like conflict with myself or with others meant that someone did something wrong. Or it meant that I was going to be abandoned or hurt in some way. But conflict is good. Conflict is healthy and so much growth can happen during conflict.

I've done so much work during therapy to understand why I was so afraid of conflict, and now that I've done that introspection and I've learned how to cope with trauma, I see conflict as a means for progression (which makes sense, considering this is a fire element card!)

From the Page of Cups (Reversed) I get the feeling of a block in creativity, which in my case I believe stems from that tidal wave of creativity we talked about earlier.

I want to do so many things. So. Many. Things. I want to get my history degree and then go on to get another degree in Medieval Studies so I can specialize in the Early Medieval Period, especially the social and intellectual histories of this time.

I want to pursue at least three different creative projects, which I am, unfortunately, doing all at the same time. I have so much going on and it all requires deep concentration and thought. Oh my!

Do I need to slow down and focus on what is the most important at any given moment? Answer: Yes. Will I do that? Answer: ..............

So, as always, tarot has called me out. I would expect nothing less.

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